Say Bless You
I was devastated at work the other day, because I sneezed, and nobody said “bless you.” I am a loud sneezer, and several of our desks are near one another. The people right by me must have heard me. No one was on a phone call or a meeting, so there was no reason for their silence. And yet, there they sat, letting me know in no uncertain terms that they hate me.
Feeling heartbroken, insulted, disrespected, and violated, I stood up and looked around at my coworkers, demanding an explanation. Finally, someone across the office – who claimed not to have heard the original sneeze – overheard my accusations and finally said “God bless you, Joey.” Peace was restored in the office, though I will never forget the painful crimes committed against me. Forgive, but never forget.
In truth, we all had a decent laugh after my dramatic outburst. I could not stay mad at them for long, if I was ever really mad to begin with. It has since become fun for us to loudly say “bless you” to one another when we sneeze, or to obnoxiously thank one another for saying “bless you.” Or maybe it is only fun for me, and everyone else is playing along to keep me entertained. Either way, I am entertained.
But, the whole thing got me thinking about this little gesture we are all so used to: Saying, “bless you” after someone sneezes. It is hard for me to even call it a gesture, as most of the time we do not even think before I say it; we just say it. I remember hearing a couple stories where this obligatory phrase may have originated.
The first that comes to mind was that, in very old times, a sneeze was seen as a sign that a demon or a witch was trying to possess you. So, by saying “bless you,” one was trying to cleanse your body and soul of this attempted possession. Knowing our historical distaste for such dark deeds, this explanation makes sense. At the time I am writing my first draft of this, it is the night before Halloween, so this feels frighteningly fitting.
The other origin I have heard is a simple one, that also makes sense to me: When you sneeze, your heart stops for a very brief moment. So, by saying, “bless you,” the person is putting a quick blessing onto your heart, in hopes that it keeps beating happily and healthily. With that in mind, saying “bless you” can be quite kind, and more than a simple gesture. Heart health is important.
Whether you prefer the spooky version or the medical version, the idea is the same: This sneeze took you out of your ordinary rhythm. Whoever says “bless you” after you sneeze is trying to welcome you back to normal. Even if both of these explanations are untrue, it is still a nice thing for something that can be mildly unsettling at the wrong time or place.
The human body has many little functions that can knock us out of our rhythm or embarrass us. And yet, this one particular bodily function is the only one that we are all culturally conditioned to respond to. The human body makes other noises: Coughs, burps, or the less polite flatulence. And though we may have something to say, there is no cultural norm in response to those sounds. Meanwhile, forgetting to say something in response to a sneeze can be seen as rude (a gentle reminder to my coworkers).
All this talk of sneezing reminds me of a time that I was out for a run in the summertime, and on this particular day I left my headphones at home. I chose to listen to the sounds of the outdoors and my neighborhood. It was the middle of the day, so there were some lawnmowers, birds, a gentle breeze here and there, cars driving by and… A sneeze.
It was not terribly loud, but it stuck out clearly in the moment. I looked around and saw that the person who sneezed was a woman on the other side of the street, now one or two driveways behind me. Though I kept running, I was compelled to say something. I waited a moment, slowing down to a much lighter jog, to see if anyone was closer to her who could do the job. There was no one - it had to be me. So, from what was now uncomfortably far away, I shouted “BLESS YOU!” to the woman. Though I felt awkward for a moment, I heard laughter as she shouted back “THANK YOU!” I laughed too, waved at her, and continued running.
I was able to say “bless you,” while still running, from almost a block away, to a woman I did not know. Yet my coworkers could not be bothered to say it seated, from five feet away, to someone they know very well. But that is not the point. I have thought about that little moment many times since it happened. Sometimes I smile to think that maybe, when she needs a little laugh, she thinks about it too.
That is not only the power of saying “bless you,” but the power of other small gestures too. They seem like nothing in the moment, just something that you do as less of a courtesy and more of an instinct. And yet, at the right place and time, these small, instinctive gestures are everything. They can stick with us for a while. Sometimes it is too easy to overlook the power that the little things have on our lives.
Imagine, for a moment, going through one of the hardest times of your life, and the negativity is overtaking all that you do. Maybe you are overwhelmed with priorities you feel no passion for, and the building stress is stealing energy from the happy parts of your life. Maybe you lost someone, and you feel lost and alone as you grapple with the idea of the next chapter ahead of you. Maybe you made a mistake and hurt someone, and the guilt is consuming you. Maybe your low point looked a lot different, or maybe some of these things are not so hard for you to imagine.
Maybe several of these things, and more, were going on at the same time, and you were struggling with the overlapping pain. Or maybe, instead of immense tragedy, you were simply having a bad day. And in this low moment, you happen to sneeze, and someone nearby says, “bless you.”
Maybe, for just a moment, that little act of kindness reminded you that there is still good in the world, even when you feel you are lacking the light. People are still good, and whatever you are going through, you are not alone. Someone out there has your back, and you are worthy of it. It is going to be okay.
It does not have to be a “bless you” to be impactful. Maybe someone held the door for you when your hands were full. Maybe someone broke an uncomfortable silence by asking you how your day was, when you felt like no one cared. Maybe you dropped something, and someone else reached down to pick it up for you. Maybe all they did was smile at you.
Most of the time, we will overlook whether or not someone says, “bless you.” Unless you are like me, and you cannot let it go. But think about the rare occasion that you may be doing more than a small courtesy, and it can mean more than you know to a person who needs some kindness. These simple acts that often go unnoticed can be real blessings at the right place and the right time. So when we think of how much we might appreciate them, we should also try to pay that forward. We have no idea what others are going through, so you might as well choose to do something good.
Realistically, not every “bless you” will be groundbreaking. Not every little gesture will change someone’s life. In fact, most will pass by without much of a noticeable impact beyond that moment. Even if you are not saving the world, at the very least, you may make someone smile… That seems like enough to me. And, when we choose to make a habit of the good little things, that makes it easier to do the good big things when the time comes.
So, say, “bless you” when someone sneezes. Choose to do the nice thing even when it would be easier to walk on by. You never know when people need the nice gestures the most, or when the little things are the biggest miracles.